Sunday, February 12, 2006

I Hate Tyra Banks

The ever changing Ms. Banks wears many hats; she is model, reality star and singer. She recently retired from cover girl and catwalks and no one noticed. Tsk tsk tsk, what a shame. Why would she throw away the only chapeau that FIT! Just because YOU think you can do anything, doesn’t mean you should. If you are looking for a copy of her single, check the dollar bins at Wal-Mart!

Ever notice how Tyra can mirror whomever she is chatting with? If she’s on MTV or interviewing a person of color, she is ghetto fabulous (watch as she swings her neck, snaps her fingers, rolls her eyes and f’shizzles her nizzle!) When she’s with the Caucasian persuasion, she is refined as granulated sugar! Now the plus size (talkin’ ego here) has thrown her hat into the talk show ring. Somebody throw it back! Puhleeeeze! Just as we were reveling in the demise of Ricky Lake along comes a talking forehead to take her place. Oprah she’s not! So desperate for viewers, she got felt up on national TV to prove that her twin peaks were real. Once again, I have to visit WhoGivesaShit.com!

One more thing… if there are any planes out there looking for an emergency landing strip, consider this media whore’s forehead! Hmmmm, cranium implants? Hey, Chameleon there’s your next show; prove to enquiring minds that your skull is “for real.”
When the talk show fails (and it will), who knows what Hat she’ll try on that gigantic head. Quick! Close all millineries!

* Karma Chameleon by Culture Club
* The Best of the Both Worlds by Jay-Z and R. Kelly
* Ghetto Fabulous by 313 Bass Mechanics
* Simply Irresistible by Robert Palmer
* Fake Breasts by the Bicycle Men
* I Can Do Anything by Texas Throwed
* I'm Beautiful by Bette Midler
* All These Things That I've Done by The Killers


1 Comments:

At 5:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey you missed one. Add ROSES by Outkast. "I know you'd like to think/ your shit don't stink/ But lean a little bit closer/
Roses really smell like poo poo."

 

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